What's your house like? I'll tell if you will (with voiceover)
Let's be honest, we all love a good nosy don't we?
‘What’s your house like?’ – it’s a question I have asked many a proud homeowner, and I cannot tell you how many times I have been asked it too.
I guess it comes with the territory of working in the homes and interiors publishing world. A bit like a ‘what time are you on ‘til’ for a taxi driver or a ‘what’s your favourite dish’ to a chef, maybe. There’s nothing wrong with asking. It’s more that I never quite know how to answer it well. It’s a question that feels like it has a lot of weight attached to it, no?
Before finally buying a house last year, more than a decade into my career, I’d rented five properties. First a room in a four-bed ‘upside-down’ house where the living room was upstairs and the kitchen was down; another room in a two-bed semi with a huge garden of which I really remember an artichoke plant (yes, random); a town centre Victorian terraced house that I miss for its location; a flimsy new build (which I do not miss one bit) and a draughty country cottage with an open fire and farm-side garden that had bags of charm but needed far too much maintenance.
What each had in common was that I couldn’t put my own stamp on the place outside of a new colourful cushion, piece of art or some other soft furnishing. And no matter the accessories, there’s just no getting away from that rental magnolia vibe, no matter how you try – especially when I didn’t want to spend time putting things ‘right’ before inevitably moving out. Props to anyone who does this.
As the editor of a magazine dedicated to interiors, people might expect me to have a gorgeous home filled with beautifully styled corners and the latest mod cons. I’d love to tell you that’s exactly what it’s like, but alas I’d be lying. There are some beautifully styled corners that will grace my Instagram grid, but it’s absolutely a work in progress.
I’ll set the scene. As I type, I am sitting at my dining table (which is new, I confess). It’s a contemporary chunky oak style with black metal base paired with a tan (p)leather backed bench and I have styled it with a wicker tray and dried stems of foliage in a nice amber-coloured vase. But if I look up from my screen, I see a multi-coloured play mat and an array of toys scattered around the floor – all of which do not, I repeat, most definitely do not, complement my colour scheme or interior style.
That’s just my current vista. I know there’s a rattle in the middle of the living room floor and I spied coasters scattered across the rug in there too – the latest play thing, of course. If Marie Kondo can admit to giving up tidying after her kids, well so can I. And so can you. At least until bedtime (if you can even be bothered by then).
Since buying this three-bed house in 2022, my boyfriend and I have been slowly decorating it. It’s around 20 years old, so was structurally sound and ‘liveable’ when we took it on. The interiors were modern enough, just not to our or my taste. The kitchen is a standard off-the-shelf design which I reckon has been in since the house was built, and it’s a similar story for the bathrooms – white, basic and functional. All jobs for later down the line.
I’m a firm believer in the power of a lick of paint, so we began by painting the living room a dark green, leaning into its north-facing moodiness and creating a cosy space to recline in after a day of hop skipping over toys (see point above).
I once interviewed a colour expert at paint brand Valspar about choosing the right paint for the How To Buy A Kitchen Or Bathroom podcast and I remember them telling me how crucial it is to test samples. So test I did. It was almost 50 shades of green before we settled on a soft but dark shade called Warm Eucalyptus. I may write a post about the living room one day – it’s (thus far) my favourite room in the house. The green forms the backdrop for a big natural-coloured corner sofa, a high-pile black and cream Berber rug and matt black and oak accents. I love a throw so there are plenty of those to curl up under. Oh and the coasters, mustn’t forget those. They’re dusty pink leather ones from H&M, if you’re wondering.
Paint was the answer for the kitchen too, which got a fresh coat of white as a stop-gap until we can afford to re-do the whole space with new units and a new layout. This week we actually fitted child locks to the cupboards, which again, don’t exactly ooze style.
Next door, there’s a dining area-snug-playroom attached so it got the same treatment, with the dining ‘zone’ getting its own identity with a terracotta feature wall to differentiate it and detract from the sea of bright plastic adorning the opposite end of the space (I jest, there’s no detracting from those technicolour hues!).
One of the few rooms without the onslaught of toys, the downstairs loo went dark too – this time a very deep navy (almost black) called Evening Coat – with sage green, matt black and wooden accessories. I even painted the small tile splashback instead of replacing it – the gloss white is now a matt green and cost less than a tenner to do.
Our old dining table was made from reclaimed scaffold boards, so we re-repurposed the wood and the loo now has a set of nice shelves. My ideal would have been to replace the toilet with a wall-hung one and get rid of the gloss white vanity cabinet in favour of a slimmer basin, but this will happen when the bathrooms creep to the top of the long list of to-dos.
When we moved in, we were expecting a baby, so the two rooms to top the list then were the living room and creating a nursery. The latter being my second favourite room in the house, which is good as I’ve spent a considerable number of hours in there. It’s a neutral, safari-themed design with a cute wallpaper featuring illustrated giraffes and elephants and the like, and a split-painted effect on the rest of the walls – the top half is off-white, the bottom a sandy colour.
There’s still a lot to do. The main bedroom hasn’t been touched and still has unpacked boxes in it, begging the question whether I actually need the stuff in them. The guest room-slash-home office falls into the same category, along with the hallway and landing. The outside space has largely been ignored aside from a new fence which was a must buy two weeks into our homeownership thanks to a certain Storm Eunice (thanks Eu!) and a new front door thanks to a very inconvenient lock jamming incident on Boxing Day, no less.
What’s next? Well, it’s slow and steady, so the guest room-slash-office is getting an upgrade. That way, I’ll be able to change up my view of toys for something a little more age appropriate. I’m sure Daphne the dolly keeps giving me the side eye, and rather disappointingly she’s yet to offer me a cuppa. Maybe she’s good with a paint brush instead…?
One last thing before I go: what’s your house like?
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